Tag: writing

Words – “Appeared,” “Seemed,” and “Looked” – How to Apply/Not Apply Them in Fiction Writing

On By dotluvs2writeIn blogging, Fiction Writing, Writing TechniquesLeave a comment

words have power

I’m still plowing through the book by Janice Hardy called Understanding Show, Don’t Tell (And Really Getting It), and this is my second blog post on the subject of show, don’t tell. My previous post on this consisted of information on a few red flag tell words.

This post is centered on three words: Appeared, Seemed, and Looked. And knowing how to use them properly.

We writers use appeared in a few ways.  If you’re using it to describe something or someone showing up or materializing in front of the character, this is fine and is not one of the descriptions being analyzed by Hardy.  It’s when you are using it in the same manner as you would for Seemed that is under the microscope.  Appeared “is a judgment word that suggests the assumption could be incorrect” (Hardy).

Here’s an example Hardy uses:

  • Bob appeared strong, with broad shoulders and biceps the size of canned hams (Hardy).

So, what is point-of-view character saying here? Using the word appeared implies the point-of-view character is making an assumption. But a man with “broad shoulders and biceps the size of canned hams” does describe one who is strong. This means it’s unlikely to be an assumption. Therefore, we writers wouldn’t want to use appeared in that instance (Hardy).

Here’s another example of appeared. See what you think of this one:

  • He appeared to be the charter pilot, with a jaunty cap and leather bomber jacket (Hardy).

This tells the reader the point-of-view character isn’t sure if the person is truly a charter pilot but is assuming so because of his clothing. But a person who is not a pilot could dress in a bomber jacket and jaunty cap. The point-of-view character thinks the person might be a pilot (Hardy). Therefore, in this case, because of the uncertainty, the use of appeared works.

This works nearly the same with the word Seemed. Here’s an example from the book:

  • Bob seemed happy, laughing and joking with all the kids (Hardy).

What makes the point-of-view character say “seemed”? If Bob is “laughing and joking,” then why would the point-of-view character question if Bob is happy? It’s not accurate and misleads the reader. It also makes you question the point-of-view character’s reasoning for saying this (Hardy).

Here’s another sentence Hardy uses as a comparison:

  • Bob seemed happy, but his smile never waved.

Here the point-of-view character questions Bob’s happiness because he/she notices his smile “never waved,” which implies it’s not a real smile, but a feigned one. Therefore, using “seemed” in that sentence works (Hardy).

Lastly, let’s study the word Looked. There are two ways in which to use this word. One is to describe how a character appears. The second way is what the character does (Hardy).

Here’s the first example:

  • Jane looked scared hiding behind the car, hands gripping the shotgun (Hardy).

So, in this sentence, the description by the point-of-view character could be either making an assumption, or how he/she sees Jane. Hardy asks, “Does this sentence mean the woman hiding behind the car looks scared when she’s really not, or is there a scared woman?” (Hardy) It’s not clear.

Here’s another sentence Hardy uses as a comparison:

  • Jane cowered behind the car, hands gripping the shotgun (Hardy).

This sentence clarifies the confusion. Using the word “cowered,” it shows Jane is scared. No need to assume Jane may be scared by using “looked” (Hardy).

Here’s the last example:

  • He looked like the kind of guy who would sell out his own mother for a cold beer (Hardy).

It is clear the point-of-view character is stating his/her opinion. This is evident in the point-of-view character’s voice. It shows opinion rather than detached description (Hardy).

What Hardy has helped me to understand as a revert writer in the past four years is that word usage is crucial in producing our works of fiction. And these clearly-understood examples have helped me so much.

Some of my readers who are experienced writers probably recognized and were able to find the problems easily, but for newer writers, I’m hoping this is helpful to you.

 

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Works cited
Hardy, Janice. Understanding Show, Don’t Tell (And Really Getting It). Fiction University Press, 2016.

 

It Is Finished

On By dotluvs2writeIn blogging, College Cares, Cultural and Political, Fiction Writing, Inspirational, Musings, Past Life Activities, Playwriting8 Comments

cap and diploma

Yesterday, I turned in my last assignment in my last course in my last week at Southern New Hampshire University. Technically, my college courses are all done.

Needless to say, I was walking on clouds yesterday after submitting my last assignment. It felt so good!

Now I join the millions of other undergraduate student before me in receiving my diploma in the coming weeks. Hurray!

I should receive my last grade (which is looking like an A) some time this week, and it will be recorded and calculated in my final GPA by the end of next week.

In talking to my academic advisor a few minutes ago, my GPA is high enough for certain honors, including magna cum laude. How exciting! I can’t wait to see that printed on my diploma!

In a few weeks, I’ll receive my diploma for a B.A. in Creative Writing. Yea!

I’m very grateful for my time at SNHU. I’ve not only learned so much, but have grown a lot in these four years.

I enjoyed all my classes, even the two to three harder classes in which I struggled. I made it through, and I’m thrilled over those accomplishments.

champagne glasses 2

I loved learning about the humanities, anthropology, Shakespeare, psychology, European and American history, and all the writing workshops that helped hone my writing skills.

I learned how to write essays and articulate thoughtful articles, and write short stories in a time-sensitive setting. I learned how to write plays too.

In these last four years, I started a blog, had a short story published, and had one of my short plays acted out on a local theater’s small stage.

In March 2018, I submitted my novel to a publisher whose editor said it had promise and to work at bit on the developmental editing and to resubmit it in the future.

Personally, I am so thankful and breathe a sigh of relief that it wasn’t accepted because there was so much more revising that needed to be done! We newer writers learn this hopefully in the earlier stages of our writing endeavors that a lot of time is needed in producing a publishable novel.

I was able to submit my query letter and synopsis to the above-mentioned publisher thanks to my Context of Writing class at SNHU that I’d taken in early 2018.

My university studies helped me reach these milestones in my life.

In attending SNHU, I have grown as a person in my analyzing and questioning works of fiction and nonfiction.

snhu artistic pic

In other words, it taught me critical thinking, which I’d not possessed before starting at SNHU, and it’s been a valuable asset in both my personal and professional relationships, in how I present sensitive material on religion, politics, and literary subject matter.

I’m thankful to Southern New Hampshire University and will cherish my experiences there for the rest of my life.

 

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Vulnerable, Honest – Revealing the Heart in Writing

On By dotluvs2writeIn blogging, Fiction Writing, humanity, Inspirational, Musings, Past Life Activities, Writing Techniques6 Comments

honesty in chinese

The more I write, the more is revealed to me of who I am. Even as I create fictional characters, there is always an aspect of truth to them, and truth to the story. My experiences help me to chisel out events, scenes, and character traits.

In the past few weeks of revising, once again, my novel, Passage of Promise, as I run it through my online critique group, I’ve realized the importance of being honest. Being honest with myself on who I really am, what I truly need to write. Because it comes from a deep, vulnerable place in my heart.

I need to write truthfully, honestly, from the depths of my soul. Writing to please others for which I think they’d be most interested in at this moment in time, will not sustain the timelessness of my story, nor be completely genuine. It won’t make me feel satisfied with what I’ve produced.

mother teresa quote on honesty

It won’t be completely ME, coming solely from my heart, my imagination, my experiences, and my unique voice. All writers possess these. And we should strive to type/write these indelible marks of ourselves on the pages of our stories.

Be courageous. Be honest. Be vulnerable. Be Yourself. And let it sparkle within the words of your fictional works.

 

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