What Are You Worth?

Self-worth and having love for yourself, not in an egotistical way but in a way you understand you are created in His Image and greatly valued by Him is incredibly crucial on how you navigate through your life. 

If you don’t believe you’re worth anything and don’t love yourself and blame yourself for the majority of conflicts or events in your life, it can affect you emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually, causing you to be swept along the rough seas, struggling, treading water to sustain yourself in some manner. 

But if you believe you’re valued and worth as much as anyone else, your life most likely will take the path of a healthy view of all you experience, an inner strength, and true understanding of love.

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When What You Wrote As Fiction Has Become Reality!

If you’ve followed the medical history of my youngest son, Christopher, you’ll understand what I’ve got to say now much more. In any case, if you aren’t up on his history, a little tidbit of info on this for the past fifteen years can be found in my blog post, Maternal Moxie: Tenacious Moms of Special Needs Kids.

This morning, I took Christopher for his every-two-year MRI scan. It is to check on the remnant of a brain tumor attached to his brainstem since he was diagnosed with it at 13 months old. Surgeries and radiation therapy followed, the latter to try and stop regrowth. Since 2007, the tumor has been lying dormant, thank God.

There was a scare in the fall of 2008 that the tumor and the cyst it creates had grown a tad. I had to return with Christopher for another MRI scan the next month to make sure before starting up a long, dreadful year of chemotherapy, that he’d been able to avoid all those years.

Feeling desperate, I turned to the Saints of my church. Something I’d never done up to that point. I asked the Panagia (Virgin Mary/Mother of God), Saint John the Wonderworker of Shanghai and San Francisco, and Saint Nektarios to pray for my son.

Within 15-30 minutes, I felt the heaviness sitting on my shoulders be literally lifted off of them and has never returned. I felt at peace.

The next month, I took Christopher in for the MRI scan. The doctor came back to tell me that, for some reason, the tumor had shrunk back a bit, as well as the cyst. He didn’t know why, but I did. The Saints had and still pray for my son, and the prayers of the righteous are powerful!

Since then, the tumor has been stable and dormant, thank God.

Today, I was hoping for the same result.

But that’s not what I got this go around.

Via my Facebook post this morning (minus one of the MRI scanned photos):

First and foremost, Glory to God. The oncologist said that the portion of the brain tumor that has been attached to Christopher’s brainstorm for just over fifteen years has disappeared/gone away!

However, he said he and the radiologists may need a closer look on that at some point, but still, it’s not there on the scan! 

Here are the two pics from 2013 scan to today’s. The first picture shows the white portion next to the gray section in the middle of the head is the remaining tumor back in 2013. Today’s scan — the picture on the right— doesn’t show it there anymore! 

Having said that, the doctor said Christopher will be getting scans every 3 years for the rest of his life, due to the damage of the radiation that can cause benign tumors outside the brain. However, those are easier to remove!

Along with this, he’s referring Christopher for a multi-disciplinary clinic check up for him transitioning to adulthood. So, he’ll see a neuro-psychologist, endocrinologist, and rehab specialist to check his ability to drive and other things. He’s also being referred to “plastics” (what the doctor called it) to discuss working on his face through nerve work to even out his face. The left side of his face droops a bit and is partially paralyzed (with 7th nerve palsy in his left eye, with an eyelid that doesn’t totally close, and severe hearing loss in his left ear).

Of course, at first Christopher said he wasn’t interested in facial plastic surgery (basically what I’m thinking the doctor meant by “plastics”) because he doesn’t want scars. The oncologist explained there won’t be any scars. That’s what “plastics” does and gets rid of. Ha ha!

Nevertheless, the oncologist told him he can say, “No” after meeting with the “plastics” doctor if he still doesn’t want to do that. 🙂

Also, the nurse put in a referral to an ophthalmologist/eye doctor per the oncologist’s recommendation. I’m very happy about this, because I wasn’t sure who to go to for this. He’s overdue for an eye check. 

The third picture farthest to the right is damage on the left side, lower portion of his brain from the tumor, surgeries and radiation that is lit up in white. But the oncologist said the thinking portion on the top and upper portions of his brain look good and are okay, thank God. 

Again, this is the best news we’ve gotten on Christopher’s tumor since years ago when it was stabilized. Thank God!

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Hope

Orthodox Jesus Prayer sunset

One of my favorite movies that I’ve watched so many times over the years, I’ve lost count, is Hope Floats.

In a time when hope is needed more than ever, I wanted to share a few words, quotes, and a song I’ve been listening to this afternoon that moves me to tears, as it’s so beautiful.

First off, know that you were created by a Trinity, Who is Love, Peace, and Hope.

He fashioned you with the breath of His Spirit, the soil of His created planet, and in His own Image.

You are higher than every plant, animal, and nature’s grandest and most beautiful mountains, seas, and deep, rich forests.

RMNP photo

You are higher than the angels.

You are the conduit between the immaterial and material.

All because of Him. His Love.

bird flying over sea at sunset

This pandemic will pass.

This economic depression will pass.

We will meet on the other side of it all with the hope of better things to come.

Live in the Light, Love, and Peace of Him.

 

“I was reborn when I was broken,

I wouldn’t believe, I wouldn’t believe, no,

Been through a storm, no use in hoping,

That you would come rescue me,

Somehow your love set me free.

And I, I can let my life pass me by,

Or I can get down and try,

Work it all out this lifetime,

Work it on out this time.

I can let it all pass me by,

Or I can get down and try,

Work it all out this lifetime, lifetime…”

– by singer, Maxwell

 

Hope Floats quote

 

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