Sometimes there are days when I feel overwhelmed and just want to burrow away in a cave or crawl under the covers and lay there until all the things in my mind and in the world stop spinning so I can catch up and gain some semblance of peace. Truly, the last couple of months have been the busiest in my life since the baby and toddler years of my youngest son, Christopher’s brain surgeries and many medical treatments and therapies.
Obviously, this is a different kind of busy. And really, during Great Lent, I should have a lighter load of earthly cares and an expanded and deeper spiritual regimen/practice. I’m not doing too well there. Lord, but I keep trying. I am enduring. I’ve got to.
These years of my life are a struggle as I have my usual medical issues since my early twenties of low blood sugar and general anxiety coupled with cantankerous peri-menopausal symptoms, like hot flashes and the dreaded night sweats that deprive me of decent hours of sleep and suck the nutrients and liquid out of my body making me borderline dehydrated. So then I have to have a bottle of water on my nightstand to take a few sips every two hours I wake from burning up and being drenched in perspiration. Of course, while this is going on, my hormones are a mess, which triggers my anxiety and low blood sugar. It’s a real balancing act. But I am enduring. I’ve got to.
My novel is in its last edits with my editor, and I’ve been working feverishly on the synopsis of my novel. It’s written, but it needs to be culled of wordiness for which I’m so guilty. I also have other pieces I’m writing, but they have been put aside while I focus on my novel.
To add to this, I started British Literature class this past Monday, to which there are many things to read and write–journals and essays. It’s one of four classes I’ve got left until I graduate, and truly, I’m running out of steam for courses with heavy analyzing and five to ten-page papers to write. But I am enduring. I’ve got to.
And, of course, my weekly blog posts. I almost didn’t have anything to write about for Monday, until I thought about all I’ve got going on and figured, hey, why not write about that? People can relate. And with that…a Shout Out to all my anxiety-ridden and menopausal pals out there. We endure. We’ve got to.
Then there are the regular wife and mother hats that I wear happily and proudly. My sons are getting through the school year well. My husband is working so hard. I love them all…words can’t really express how much. They, along with God, are my support and life.
So to help ease my stress, I’m going to try to return to walking at least four times a week, do yoga stretches, and read more spiritual books. Wish me luck. But you know, I’ve got to do it.